Transplant list

April 10, 2014

I’m on my way to another transplant hospital to see if they agree to put me on the waiting list. The other hospitals refused to do so because my other organs and bones are in too bad shape.
That’s why I’m so scared and nervous… I want new lungs so bad- it’s my only chance to survive. The big surgery will be even more dangerous than for most patients, but I don’t care. It’s my only chance and I rather die fighting for a longer life than giving up and accept the situation and wait for my death without any effort to change my situation. My parents are not really with me in that. They say I’ll die sooner than if I was just waiting.
But I don’t care. I won’t die on my knees. If I die, I die fighting for a better life. Plus if I die in the surgery, it’ll be quick and pain-free and at least better than to suffocate slowly.
I can’t write much now because I’m almost there. But I’ll write more later.
Wish me luck please, everyone!

Advertisements

Hospital / future

February 22, 2014

On Tuesday I went to hospital for a check up. My lungs have gotten way worse since I am back home. The antibiotic-resistant problem bug kept spreading. before I just had “some” in my test results, now it says “lots”, although I’ve been taking antibiotics for it all the time ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
The doctor gave me two more antibiotics now, one as a pill and one for my nebulizer to inhale.

20140222-122351.jpg

I’ll keep trying to find a hospital, that lists me for a transplant. I’m planning to make appointments in Munich (3-4 hrs ride), Freiburg (2-3 hrs ride) and Berlin (8-9 hrs ride). If they refuse to list me, I can still go to smaller transplant hospitals with less experience. I’m sure somebody will give me a chance. I’ve come too far to stop now. And I know, a new lung is my only chance to survive and to have a life that’s worth living.

20140222-122443.jpg

Yesterday I went to the show of Germany’s number 1 comedian. One of my best friends joined me. It was so funny and we laughed a lot. We could drive through the VIP entrance and stop right at the front door, because of the wheelchair. For the same reason we didn’t have to make the line in the cold and got perfect seats. Sometimes being sick has a few advantages too. But I’d rather make the line and sit on the most horrible seat but be healthy. But you can’t always get what you want so you gotta make the best out of what you have ๐Ÿ™‚

20140222-122545.jpg

20140222-122422.jpg

I’m still enjoying every moment I have, or at least I’m trying. On the way home yesterday, I was so in pain, but I was just grateful, that I was able to go to that show in first place…
Too many people waste their time with crying about what they can’t do instead of worshipping things they still CAN do. Maybe I’m like that sometimes too, I know I am. But I try not to. I miss the life I had before my stroke but I know it’ll never be like that again. I can’t turn back time. But I can make the best out of my situation. I can work on my recovery. I can fight for a transplant. I still can enjoy life. And that’s what I’m doing.

20140222-122325.jpg

When I was in hospital for the check up, I was asked, how much the transplant is worth to me. If I was willing to really fight for it even if it costs all my energy and I maybe get worse.
I said it’s worth everything I have. Without a new lung I’ll die… But if I die, I’ll die fighting till the end.

20140222-122429.jpg

I’m back again

March 11, 2013

March, 11th
I’m back

I haven’t written anything this year yet, so first of all I will give a quick summary of what has happened in the first three months of this year so far.
In the last weeks of 2012 I started to get high fever and I got more and more sick so on New Year’s Eve I just wanted to be in a hospital. I was pretty sure that my port was infected again and so I was very worried. I talked to my cf-doctor who told me to come to hospital the next morning right away. So on December 31st one of my best friends visited me in the afternoon, the rest of the day my mum stayed with me, she also spent the night in my apartment because she didn’t want to leave me alone when I was so sick. But I felt so horrible that I went to sleep at 9pm, i have the opinion that it’s kind of pointless to celebrate the new year. We should be grateful for every day and celebrate it. So I called Luis to say goodnight and went to bed without fireworks or prosecco. But I never drink alcohol so I didn’t care. I just wanted to rest, I felt so horrible. The year 2013 started, like the year 2012 had been almost all the time- I was sick in hospital. After a few days they took the port out, the microbiology found the bacteria which was causing the sepsis and fever and they could send me home with the antibiotic that would kill the bacteria. So I stayed home for three weeks. On January 11th, Luis came back to Germany. I could pick him up from the airport myself and just this made me very happy because I had been worried that I might be still in hospital when Luis arrived. We enjoyed the three weeks together and when I had to go back to hospital after three weeks, he joined me and slept in a hotel, and I was so happy not to be alone there.
Usually a port can be put with local anesthesia but the doctors were worried because my chest is already full of scars they expected the procedure to be more complicated and painful, so they decided to give me full anesthesia. It turned out that it was a good idea- first they decided to open the right side of my chest but the vein was too bad and they couldn’t get the port in, so they had to open the right side also. Between the two tries I woke up because the anesthesia was calculated for the time they would have needed for one try. After they told me that they would have to open the other side also, they gave me another shot and I went back to sleep. The next day I went home and I was very happy about it. A port is usually not a big thing. I didn’t even need painkillers for it, just a coolpak. Mostly the fear is bigger than the real problem. I was just a little nervous because a few weeks before a good friend got a port and they harmed his lung during the operation and he had a very hard time afterwards.
When we were back home, we signed Luis in at a school, so he can learn German. When we were there I took a look at the classes also and signed in into a Spanish class which is every Monday morning and afterwards I go to a special Pilates course where they train the back muscles. I’m hoping to reduce my spine- pain like this. My class started 3 weeks ago and Luis began his German lessons two weeks ago. I love when he speaks German, his accent is so cute but it must be so hard for him, German is a very difficult language. Last week I had to go to hospital for three nights. Luis couldn’t join me, because he had to go to school. But it was a short stay, so it was ok. The reason for this stay was, because they wanted to try to improve my pain medication. During the last three months I’ve been in lots of pain, I had many sleepless nights because of it. In hospital they gave me new pills additionally to my painkillers that I already had but they asked me to come back for a longer stay soon. But last year I spent 8 months in hospital because I was too sick to be home. Now I’m finally okay enough to stay at home with Luis’ help so I really really don’t want to go to hospital at the moment, especially when Luis cannot join me because he has to show up in class every morning. I’m just hoping that I can stand my pain while I’m good enough to stay home.
Last December, the best transplant hospital in Europe rejected my transplant application. They said, that a transplant would most probably destroy my body more, than it would help me, and they think I would not even survive the first few months. I thought of going to ask other transplant- hospitals if they’d do it, but then a new medication for cf was approved in Germany and I convinced my doctor to give me a prescription for it. With this new inhaler, my lungs function improved from 18% in December 2012 to 36% in January 2013 and 46(!!!)% in the end of February 2013. My need of oxygen went from 6-8 liters per minute down to 3-4 liters per minute and for a short time I can even be without it, which finally gives me the freedom of showering without having a tube in my face- for the first time since end of 2011, more than 1 year I was tied to the oxygen-tank for every second of the day. My life and my chance of surviving depended on those tanks. My need of oxygen when I had a cold was already at 12 liters- that’s the maximum a human being can get with an oxygen machine. Most probably I’d not have survived another setback and my life expectancy was not measured in years but in months. Right now, we are talking about years again. I finally received the miracle we always hoped for. And I think I’m the happiest and most grateful person ever now. I’m barely feeling short of breath anymore, with my oxygen in the basket of my safety walker, I could even walk some short distances, if the pain was not too bad. I had not been able to do so before for a long while. The mannitol, that’s the miracle-medication’s name, is about to be approved in the USA. Right now, Germany is more up-to-date about new treatments for cf than the USA. Most people here used to tell me that I should go to America if I wanted the best treatments and latest research results. And now look at this- my life was just saved by a new medicine which is not even available on the American market yet.
If I keep improving like this, I want to go to Florida in December to see Luis’ son and get to know the rest of his family and also to have a better weather than here in Germany. In summer Luis and me will join my family to Italy. I can’t wait to be on vacation and in the sun again, last year I was in hospital all summer long.
Today I went to school but my pain was incredibly strong. I was so glad when I was back home on my sofa… I really love to go to school. But the pain is too strong to go there every day. In the afternoon I watched a movie about a family whose mother/wife suddenly dies of a disease. The children start to regret things they’ve said to their mother in the weeks before she died and they say, they wished there would have been a sign so they knew, that she was deadly sick. That made me think about one question: are my family and friends sometimes so nice, patient and friendly and understanding, because they’re afraid I could suddenly die and they could feel bad because of what they said. I think, my loved ones are kinda expecting my death. They’re not waiting for it all the time, but they wouldn’t be surprised if somebody would tell them that I just died. I think they know very well, that most cf patients die very young. And my health has been more than difficult and life-threatening for me during the last years. But I’m not planning to die young. I’m not planning to let the cf win. Although I know that my family is already thinking about how my funeral will be. I’m not gonna die soon- I’ve come too far to loose it all now. I feel like I was immortal at the moment. So many times the doctors said I’d die and I’m still sitting here, writing this blog. Yes, I’m in pain and yes, I have an oxygen-tube in my nose, but I have a heart beating in my chest. And after everything that has happened, that’s more than I could ask for! I just received a new life. And I’m more than thankful.

I want to go home

September 24, 2012

I had a great weekend at home. First I visited my dad and had breakfast there. In the noon my brother made pizza, he made it himself completely, not a frozen one. It tasted so great. Afterwards my dad took me and Luis to our apartment where we rested a little. Then my best friend Nathalie came over and we watched some tv and had fun, she is really awesome and we have the same sense of humor. I really love her. When she left Luis and I went to bed because he didn’t feel very well. I couldn’t fall asleep till 3am but then I fell asleep in Luis’ arms and I noticed how much I had missed to sleep like that. In the morning we got up around 9 because we were awaiting friends for breakfast. It was so cool to see them again… Luis showed them some cool Things on his keuboard. They had to leave around 12 because the guys had a soccer match. Then a few minutes after they had left the house, my friend Julia and her boyfriend Marvin visited us. Luis and Marvin went to play basketball, meanwhile Julia and I tried on some chains, bracelets and earrings. Then we started to prepare lunch. When the guys came back we ate pasta, meat and salad. I noticed that I spent most of the summer in hospital and that I can’t walk in high heels anymore. I gotta practice that. We had lot of fun. In the afternoon they left and my man and I finally had a little time for ourselves. At 7pm I had to go back to hospital and this really broke my heart. I have an 82 year old roommate that’s snoring even worse than the other lady I shared to room with. I really didn’t wanna go back. When I’m here I miss my privacy and the freedom. I can eat when and what I want. I can sleep when I want. And most important- I have Luis around me. I miss his warmth at night, I miss to hear his breath when I wake up. I just want to be with him. I spend all year in hospital so far and I can’t no more. Mentally I’m burned out. I really need a break and after all I went through I think I deserve it. Today in the morning they told me I won’t get a single room and that was the little thing that was just too much and made me want to quit. I will call my insurance later to ask if it’ll have bad consequences for me if I go home. I already talked to all my therapists, they all want a single room for me and support my wish to go home. I can buy all the little things they use here for my therapy, so I can keep doing it at home. I’m really tired of being in hospital. My nerves are already fucked up and I’m about to break down. I really can’t no more and I need the break that I deserve. I’m not a person that gives up easily but now I’m at my limit. I’m at a point where I really can’t no more. Enough Is enough.

38- Life goes on…

September 15, 2012

Now I’m here for 5 weeks already. I’m making good progress- at least that’s what everybody says. But I still don’t see it. Yeah I can walk a little but do I have to be happy about this? It should be normal that I’m walking! I’m just mad that there are still things that don’t work. I still can barely use my left arm. I still can’t concentrate. I still crash everything on the left side. Honestly I was about to loose faith that my arm will get better again. But today I was suddenly able to open my fist by myself. I tried this since I had the stroke and it never worked. But anyways I think I will never be able to really use it like before again. Last weekend I was allowed to go home again. First i went to get my nails done- they looked horrible since i couldn’t do them anymore because my left hand doesn’t work. They have rosa and purple glitter and a white zebra print. I really like them ๐Ÿ™‚

20120915-224033.jpg

Afterwards I got my glasses and visited my father and my brothers, my sister was there also.
We ordered pizza and enjoyed lunch together. In the evening my friend Nathalie visited us. Later we watched a movie.
next morning we got up very late. I usually hate that.
I was up long time before, but Luis wanted to stay in bed and when at 12 in the noon a friend of mine showed up, I was still in a sleepshirt, that showed too much skin for male friends so I was mad at myself for not getting up when I wanted to.
My friend showed Luis a typical German cake that’s made of onions and bacon… I liked it, but Luis wasn’t a big fan of it. In the afternoon I had to go back to hospital.
On Monday I got a new roommate, the old one went to another room. First I was really happy because she is younger and doesn’t snore but then I started to get to know her better and my mind changed a little. Yesterday she was going crazy. The nurse asked her to tidy up her table to make room for the dinner plate, but instead of tidying up, the lady just threw her things through the room. Luis helped me to take a shower at this time and first we thought that the lady fell, but then we heard the nurse and her fighting. They were screaming at each other like kids. And when the nurse left my roommate was crying and calling everybody to ask them if they could pick her up because there was no way that she would stay here. Later her sister showed up and finally she was able to calm the mad lady down. But for this the nurse had to promise her that she won’t come to our room again. I wasn’t even asked if I maybe really wanted this nurse to take care of me,
On Tuesday my friend Julia and her mum visited me, because we wanted to have a barbecue. The hospital has a place for barbecues outside that we were allowed to use. My cousin, uncle and aunt joined us. It was really fun and something else than always hospital rooms and hospital food…
My other cousin visited me last week with his girlfriend and they did a video for me, that I want to share with you guys and I will post it here tomorrow. My friends also visited me and my grandparents, my parents, my sister. I really have many visitors and Luis is still here every day. Right now we are looking for a way that he can stay with me in Germany but that’s really difficult ๐Ÿ˜ฆ they want me to stay here for 5 more weeks but maybe I can get a single room in 2 weeks. If not I think I will probably go home. I need my privacy and I need some time on my own, At least a few minutes each day I’m never alone right now, the nurses even enter the room when I’m sitting on the toilet. I am very impatient and when things don’t work like I want them to just because I cannot help with my left hand I get very angry and this anger always affecting the ones that help me the most because they are around me in this moment. Luis, my parents and my sister have a hard time with me since the stroke. Today it’s Saturday and I’m at home again for the third time. They picked me up at 9am and we went to sign the contract to rent the new apartment. After that we had to buy everything we need to paint the walls and the apartment will be full of colors ๐Ÿ™‚ Luis will start to color the walls next week. After that my Dad had lunch with Luis and me, we stopped at a trailer where a Turkish guy sells chicken. After that we were looking for new sneakers for me because I have a mobility aid to stabilize my leg and it doesn’t fit in any of my tons of shoes that I have so I bought those sneakers:

20120915-224049.jpg
After that it was 5pm and I was already really exhausted and started again to become a little aggressive. Especially because I knew that my dad and Luis didn’t really felt like to go shoe-shopping with me and I tried several ones where the new thing didn’t fit. And the situation was hard for me too, because I wish I wouldn’t need any stabilizing for my leg at all. But at least I can walk a little with a Cain.
After that we finally arrived home. We rested a little but I couldn’t sleep. Then we watched a movie, that was really good and now we are just chilling. I’m zapping to see what’s on tv and Luis is watching videos on his computer.
I feel a little sad. It’s already september and I missed summer. We were planning to visit my family, that spent vacation on the lago maggiore,a lake in Italy, surrounded by beautiful mountains where I spent 4 days this year. But now summer is gone and I’m still in hospital. I miss sun and the beach and the salty air of the sea.
I also miss real food in the hospital. What they serve for lunch can not be called food, unless your an animal in the zoo. My favourite food in the hospital is vanilla pudding and cini minis (cereals with cinnamon), although this makes me even fatter. At least I will have enough weight for the transplant, although I look like I was doing a commercial for weight watchers now ๐Ÿ˜ฆ everything has a good and a bad side… I don’t fit in any of my jeans anymore. I feel really uncomfortable with this weight and this fat legs, hips and belly… I really miss doing sports also. I’m also a little sad that I can’t help to move all my stuff to the new apartment, I know my family will help me, but they had to move my stuff in 2011 Already, because I was in coma at this time. I don’t feel comfortable with that but there’s nothing I can do about it. Now I’m going to get Luis away from his computer, so we spend this one day I have at home together… I wish you all a good night.

37 – frustration

September 3, 2012

I had a good day, I tried to walk with my therapists and I did really good, I’m already moving my leg a little. Lunch was horrible as always but I was talking to a younger lady that was very nice. Then I tried to sleep although it was noisy and my roommate bothered me. After my nap I had one last therapy, then Luis visited me like he does every day. We went to have some food and coffee in the cafeteria and after that we just relaxed in bed and talked. Then my uncle showed up. That was a surprise because I didnt know he would come to see me. We talked to him too and we laughed and it was really cool. But right now I’m in my bed, feeling very desperate. Just a few little
, unimportant things made me feel like that. It’s Just too much at the moment. Usually Luis helps me to take out the clothes for the next day because the nurses don’t care what we want to wear so Luis helps me to get my clothes so I can pick what I want. But tomorrow I have to wear what they give me…then I was lying Almost at the end of the bed so I couldn’t put my legs and feet in bed completely, I tried to get my body up a little, so my head would be on the pillow. But I couldn’t do it on my own…then l
I couldn’t see the tv because Luis forgot to close the closet after taking out his backpack. I can’t walk and although it was just one single meter away I had to call a nurse. I noticed that its almost impossible to do things on my own… I want my arm and leg back ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I wish there was a way how I could undo the stroke. I’m sitting or lying all day, so I’m gaining weight like crazy. Luis and my family are happy about it because it’s better for the transplant. But I hate it. The cortisone makes my face look fat and my body is fat now too and I feel so ugly and ashamed ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I wanna be able to go back to the gym. Before I did about 2-3 hours of sports daily. With oxygen of course but at least I was doing sports. I miss that. And I hate myself right now and I’m sure that this is my main problem right now ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I know Luis loves me anyways, but I don’t love myself. I hate my body right now… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I know I should be happy that I’m doing better already but I’m not. And I’m sorry for it… I know I should be more thankful that I am getting better and better and that i have such a great boyfriend that helps so much and visits me every day.i also have really great friends that care so much… But right now I just feel like shit ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

36- recovering from a stroke

September 3, 2012

I haven’t written anything for a very long time. Some of you maybe saw on twitter or Facebook what happened to me. But for those who don’t know I will write a little summery of my past few weeks…
I’ve been sent home from my cf hospital although I was still throwing up several times a day because of all the antibiotics I had to take because of the back infection. I enjoyed being home. I visited my uncle and grandparents. Often I wasn’t able to drive myself but
Lucky me I had somebody that could take me anywhere I wanted to go.
One day I felt worse than usually. I threw up about 30 times that day. My cousins girlfriend was about to sleep at my house the next day. But I sent her a message, telling her to stay home because I was too sick. I went to my doctor and after 3 hours of waiting and talking he sent me home with several infusions and injections against the vomiting. I felt horrible and Just wanted to sleep. My mum came over to take care for me. We cooked together and I even ate a little. Later I called my dad and my brother telling them how tired I was and I called my mum to tell her not to worry because I ate a little more. Later I sent a video to Luis, where I told him that i felt horrible and I was breathing very hard. Next thing I remember Is me on the intensive care unit and my sister, that told me I had a stroke. I didn’t remember anything so my family told me what happened: my dad went To pick me up for breakfast on Saturday morning, we wanted to test some cars which I was planning to buy. I just couldn’t decide which one I like best so we wanted to have a test drive with the ones I was thinking of. When daddy came into my apartment he found me in bed but I was completely out of my mind. I don’t remember it but my dad said I was kind of in panic and apathetic. He called a emergency doctor and an ambulance. The doctor noticed that I couldn’t move my leg so he thought something happened to my spine. Because of this he called a helicopter that took me to hospital. My dad got there by car. He stayed there on Icu with me for the first few days. My family took pictures of me when I was like this:

when they did a computer tomography they saw that three big parts of my brain were affected by a stroke. For the first days the brain was swelling, but I told the doctors that I didn’t want any surgery and no intubation. Neither resuscitation. My parents told the, the same and I thank them so much that they respected my wish although they didn’t know if this would cost my life. When I woke up I couldn’t really talk, I always repeated what others said but I wasn’t really able to find the words myself… I also couldn’t move my left arm or leg.i couldn’t hold my head myself either. Lucky me some of those things will recover again. But it needs so much time and I’m not really a patient patient. In hospital I had many visitors. My mum and dad came to see me as much as they could, and so did my sister. My two brothers came to see me, that made me really happy. My grandparents were there to see me, my aunt, uncle my two cousins and my younger cousin’s girlfriend, my friend Julia and her mum, my dad’s friend and my friend Nathalie was there every day, she even cleaned my ass after I took a shit-this is real friendship! Almost every day I stole her lunch but she never cared. I had horrible roommates (looks like I’ve always bad luck about this) so I was happy to get moved to a rehab hospital where I have several hours of therapies daily. We are trying to remind my brain how to move the arm and leg and to get rid of some other problems the stroke caused, for example, I can’t really concentrate anymore. I can’t see the left side. Or-well, I see it , because my eye is okay, but my brain doesn’t understand what I see. First I couldn’t even read, now I’m just crashing things on the left with my wheelchair always. But it’s getting better. I’m in rehab for three weeks now. When I got here I couldn’t even sit without falling, now I learned to stand again, to lift arm and leg a little and with a cast I can even walk a little. Although I’m still falling often. Without the cast my foot is just bending in awkward positions and the cast is supposed to protect the foot from breaking. The cast is purple, that’s the good thing about it ๐Ÿ˜‰
The first week I had a roommate that couldnt talk. But at least I can move on my own a little. I never thought that being in a wheelchair will be that hard. All the things that are normal to us get so complicated when you are in a wheelchair… Every little stair is a hindrance… Right now I have a new roommate and she is so horrible. She is always complaining and moaning and she is snoring like crazy and I can’t sleep because of that. She is in bed almost around the clock so I never have some time to be alone. I don’t have any privacy at all. They don’t even leave me alone on the toilet to take a shit because they’re afraid I could fall. I’m so happy that luis comes to see me here every day. He takes me to the toilet then. I like this much better than when a nurse is next to me while sitting on the toilet. Luis also showers me every second day. The nurses here only help patients to take a shower once a week, and thats not enough for me. It’s summer and I don’t want to smell bad or to have greasy hair. Many people here really stink. There are mostly old patients here, only 3 younger persons. Well. People at my age usually dont have strokes. The doctors say that the vomiting caused dehydration and my blood became too thick and that this caused it. Because I’m not overweight, I don’t smoke, I don’t have high blood pressure. I’m a very unusual stroke patient. They say that most probably I’ll recover quicker than older patients. I can already sit alone, hold my head alone and move arm and leg a little. I learned to eat and dress with one hand. I’m still having problems with the bra and tshirt and it happens that I sit in the bathroom crying in the morning because I just cannot get dressed by myself. It’s really frustrating and sometimes I feel very desperate and helpless. I’m so glad that Luis is coming to see me every day, he gives me so much strength and I think without him I would have given up already. I have had hard times before, but this situation is really cruel. I won’t be able to live in the same apartment like before because I need to walk up stairs to get in and there Is no elevator in the house. The doors are too small for a wheelchair and the shower is also not ok for me. It has a little stair to step in also. I can’t get into my tub either. That makes me very sad, I used to take a hot Bath Almost every day. My whole life changes because of the stroke. I have to move, I can never dance again and dancing was my life. I hoped so bad to be able to dance again when I have new lungs… When I was in hospital they did an MRI to check the back infection and it’s gone. That’s the best news ever! They will do a biopsy to check if they find any bacteria and if not I can be transplanted. But the problem is, that I should be able to walk again, because I have to do sports to stay fit and they have to get me out of bed after the transplant to reduce the risk for pneumonia. So I’m trying to walk almost every day. And I cant wait till I finally can do everything on my own again. I cannot do the things I used to love anymore… I can’t really paint and draw anymore because it looks horrible. I can barely read anymore because i cant really see the left side. And for the same reason I’m not allowed to drive for 6 months. Thats like a punishment to me. Most probably I have to stay here for some more weeks but when I go home I will still need lots of help. We are trying to get a permission to stay and work for Luis. If not, he has to leave germany after three months and I think that this would ruin the little good part in my life that is still left. I would have to hire a person from poland to live with me and to take care of me. I really don’t want that! A stranger living with me 24/7? No way!!! And besides I dont want to be without Luis all the time. I want to live with him and fall asleep next to him. I miss to sleep next to him at the moment. I miss to hear his breath when I wake up at night and I miss to feel his warmth. It sucks that I’m always in a hospital when he is here.
But this weekend i was finally allowed to go home for one night. So Luis and my sister picked me up on Saturday morning and we went to the optic to look for new glasses for me. I hate to wear glasses but I can’t put in my contact lenses with only one hand ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I look so ugly with glasses but without them I’m almost blind. After that we went to see apartments that were built for people in wheelchairs. We saw two ones. The first was a little too small but the second one was perfect. Very big (for two persons), huge windows so lots of
Iight, a big kitchen and a garden, a big parking lot, a basement, lots of space outside, very close to all Important stores or shops like bakery’s,butcher, supermarket, Physio therapy office, pizzeria, cafe, bank etc. it’s closer to where my mum and sister live, they can be there in ten minutes if I need them. After that we went to my apartment, Luis and my sis helped me to get up the stairs, then my sister did lunch- pasta and salad, it was very delicious. After lunch mum and her went home and luis and me went to sleep, it was the first time since he came to germany that we were alone and so we cuddled a lot. It felt so good to sleep in his arms, I feel so nice and protected when I’m with him. In the evening my friend nathalie visited us and we watched a DVD and ordered food. Luis and I went to bed very late, but again i enjoyed sleeping next to him. We got up around 9 although we planned to sleep longer. Luis did breakfast and brought it to the bed, so I was eating in the bed. I can tell you, luis is such an angel! We had a relaxed morning, watching tv and talking, then we packed my things for hospital so we didn’t have to hurry later. Around 2pm two of my friends came to see me and we watched another DVD, my Physio therapist also can’t to see me and we talked for a while. At 5pm I had to go back to hospital, luis came with me and helped me to change clothes etc. it was a beautiful weekend and the break I really needed. I wish it wasnt over yet… Maybe i can go home again next weekend… Now I will watch navy cis, they show the new season, I can’t miss that! I will try to post something here daily , maybe not as long as today, but at least a little update about the day…