Hospital / future
February 22, 2014
On Tuesday I went to hospital for a check up. My lungs have gotten way worse since I am back home. The antibiotic-resistant problem bug kept spreading. before I just had “some” in my test results, now it says “lots”, although I’ve been taking antibiotics for it all the time 😦
The doctor gave me two more antibiotics now, one as a pill and one for my nebulizer to inhale.
I’ll keep trying to find a hospital, that lists me for a transplant. I’m planning to make appointments in Munich (3-4 hrs ride), Freiburg (2-3 hrs ride) and Berlin (8-9 hrs ride). If they refuse to list me, I can still go to smaller transplant hospitals with less experience. I’m sure somebody will give me a chance. I’ve come too far to stop now. And I know, a new lung is my only chance to survive and to have a life that’s worth living.
Yesterday I went to the show of Germany’s number 1 comedian. One of my best friends joined me. It was so funny and we laughed a lot. We could drive through the VIP entrance and stop right at the front door, because of the wheelchair. For the same reason we didn’t have to make the line in the cold and got perfect seats. Sometimes being sick has a few advantages too. But I’d rather make the line and sit on the most horrible seat but be healthy. But you can’t always get what you want so you gotta make the best out of what you have 🙂
I’m still enjoying every moment I have, or at least I’m trying. On the way home yesterday, I was so in pain, but I was just grateful, that I was able to go to that show in first place…
Too many people waste their time with crying about what they can’t do instead of worshipping things they still CAN do. Maybe I’m like that sometimes too, I know I am. But I try not to. I miss the life I had before my stroke but I know it’ll never be like that again. I can’t turn back time. But I can make the best out of my situation. I can work on my recovery. I can fight for a transplant. I still can enjoy life. And that’s what I’m doing.
When I was in hospital for the check up, I was asked, how much the transplant is worth to me. If I was willing to really fight for it even if it costs all my energy and I maybe get worse.
I said it’s worth everything I have. Without a new lung I’ll die… But if I die, I’ll die fighting till the end.