14 – I love my life anyways

April 15, 2012

Yesterday evening I got a little fever. Some that I have a headache, my ears hurt and I feel like throwing up. And I’m tired around the clock. That’s not that bad, but I’m afraid that my lungs could get worse too. Right now I just have more mucus than usually.
Unfortunately the pain is getting worse too and I had a bad night again.
Although I didn’t feel well, I was happy to see the sun and blue sky through the window in the morning (now it’s cloudy and grey). Today my friends are going to visit me, so I decided to put some make up so I don’t look that sick. I can’t get up, so I used my iPhone as my mirror. This is the result:

You just feel better when you care about yourself and so your hair, nails, make up. I just feel less sick then.
I can’t change the situation, so try to make the best out of it and I try not to give up on myself and to let go.
I am so looking forward to see my friends🙂 Sometimes I think, that the CF is also good for me. Because I know how to value the things more than other people, I can be happy about the little things, that others don’t even notice. For everybody things like breathing, running, sunshine, a hot bath or going to the movies is just normal. To me they are not. I am grateful when I can breathe well. When I can be home or even go to the movies or to a restaurant. I’m happy when I can hear the birds tweeting or when can feel the sunshine on my skin.
I’m thankful for every day, that life gives me. Every moment, that I can enjoy is like a present.
Because of the CF I also know, who my real friends are. When I started to get worse and to become very sick, many “friends” disappeared- one after the other. But those, that I still have today, are the ones that always stayed by my side, that drove 200 kilometers to see me in hospital or that got up in the middle of the night and came to my house because I felt bad. I know I can count on them 100%.
I can say the same about Luis. We had great times, where we went hiking in the rain forest and I was running up the stairs than he. Unfortunately we also had times, where he had to wash me, to carry me to the toilet, sat in the hospital with me for weeks. He did my breathing therapy with me, cooked for me and washed my clothes and helped me to change clothes. He was there for me around the clock although he could have done more exciting things. It means a lot when a man does that much for you. Luis never ran away and I am so grateful for that. I thank him so much for loving me in bad times too. He loves me unconditionally.
What I want to say is, that you can find positive things in any situation, no matter how bad it is. You just have to let it happen, you have to let the negative thoughts go. You have to accept the situation. A positive attitude can make your life so much better. I love my life, even if many people feel sorry for me. I don’t need pity or people to feel sorry for me. My life is not as bad as people think. That’s because I learned to value and appreciate the little things. The life is as bright and great, as YOU make it.

3 Responses to “14 – I love my life anyways”

  1. Mary Finlay Says:

    I only started reading ur blog yesterday cos someone posted link on Twitter. I know about CF cos my oldest daughter has it also, but she was lucky enough to have double lung transplant nearly 5 years ago now. She had just turned 30 couple days b4 her 7th call from Transplant Team in UK. We had been there b4 and expected her to come home again, but the longer she was gone the more hope we had that this time it would happen..she was very sick by then, so bad in fact that we later learned that she would have been lucky to live more than a couple of months without her transplant. Thankfully it did go ahead and after only 31/2 weeks in UK she was home again. She has since gone back to College and is now graduating with Honours Degree in Social Care. What I am trying to say to u I suppose is dont give up…I dont know if u are on a Transplant List or not, but I will pray for u every night in the hope that u will b as lucky as we were. Her life and ours has completely changed thanks to her Donor and Donor’s family..they are very special people. I only wish more people would carry Donor Cards and that more families would carry out the wishes of their relatives when it comes to making the decision to donate or not. My best wshes go out to u and ur family and of course ur devoted husband…<3

  2. ziaboga Says:

    hi Dan: everyday I read your blog, and I would like to know , how are your feelings about your future. I see you appreciate the little things of the life but you don’t think there will be a cure for you.¿how can you be so optimist in your situation?.
    I admire you and support you, but I feel bad because I can not help you .I ‘m 49 years old and I’ve CF and I’m pretty good. I think you’re an example for all people with CF and hopefully learn from the strenght you transmite .thank you and follow with your blog.
    we will be in contact.
    best regards from jesus ureña
    bilbao, spain

  3. donna Says:

    you know what? I agree with you 100%. I wish more ppl understood how we feel & had gratitude for every little thing in their life. I pray that my own daughter (20) learns how to appreciate the little things in life. Cf is a blessing and a curse for me too. I love little things like wind & rain & value everything they make me feel good and bad. When it is going to rain my neck hurts from arthritis. It sucks but I appreciate it because it gives me a heads up. I call it the flipside. There is a flipside to everything. Hang in there Dani. I am praying that u get well & get all the organs you need to keep inspiring people. Stay strong my friend. (hug) from Donna


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