1 – What i’m dreaming of

April 3, 2012

This will be my first blog entry. At the moment I am in a small hospital close to my home town. I only spent about 5 weeks at home this year yet. The rest of the time I have been in hospitals. I’m here because I am in incredibly strong pain. It can’t be controlled, not even with morphine. I barely sleep at night and the pain cramps are exhausting. 

Today the chief doctor of the hospital talked to me. They will take me to my big CF- hospital by helicopter as soon as they can. My health is too bad to transport me in an ambulance. They say my lungs- situation gets worse quickly and that I have to be in a special hospital if I want to survive till my lung transplant. I feel that breathing becomes harder and i’m coughing more Blood. I’m not excited about going to the other hospital  because It is 3 hours away from my family and friends so it’s hard for them to visit me.

My hubby is in America right now so I am alone almost all day. I miss him so much.

The strong pain makes it impossible to concentrate on reading or watching movies, so most of the time i am thinking or dreaming. I imagine what I will do when I have my new lungs. I want to travel a lot🙂 I want to see the world. Most patients at my age want to go to clubs after their transplants. I want to see the northern lights, the grand canyon, I want to go on a bike tour. I can’t wait to take a deep breath of clean, cold air in the morning. I don’t give a damn about clubs, parties and alcohol. I get new lungs so why should I look forward to breath bad air in a club, full of smoke etc? I want to spend a lot of time outside. I can’t wait to smell grass, forests, flowers, I can’t wait to smell the rain and the salty air close to the ocean.

I am so excited when I think about it, that I don’t think about the pain right now. That is just the price I have to pay for a new life, and my new life will be awesome!

It’s not easy for me at the moment, but I will never give up. 

I am so thankful for my life. I’m blessed with a great family, a handsome fiancé, true friends and a lot of nurses and doctors that fight for me every day. 

I wanna thank everybody that is staying by my side in this fight. 

I know I will win. No matter how hard it will become, I’m not gonna give up. 

3 Responses to “1 – What i’m dreaming of”

  1. Fiona Says:

    Hi Daniela, Your an inspiration to a parent of a young Cf er , as heartbreaking as it is to hear of your pain and struggles it amazing to hear of your strength to fight this horrible disease. My daughter is only 2 and I know will be a fighter like you,Keep fighting and I cant wait to hear about your post transplant adventures

    Best wishes

    Fiona


  2. You WILL WIN beautiful woman! Thanks so much for sharing your journey – how brave of you🙂

  3. Adilene Says:

    Daniela, you should bring Julia with you some time over here and we can all go to the Grand Canyon together! It’s about an hour and a half away from where I live, and although I haven’t been there yet, it would be great to experience it with you guys! Hope to see you soon! Abrazos.🙂


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